F.A.B.

F.A.C was a big thing in my life for quite a while. For those of you who didn’t go to an awesome college, F.A.C. stands for Friday After Class. It was the best day of the week made better by super low priced drinks and awesomely cheap food. Every Friday we would prance from class (if we went) to the bar (if we’d left the night before). It was basically like a college style happy hour before happy hour was a big part of our lives. One of my besests friends, “Lewis” loved FAC, so the two of us would grace the dirtiest bars in Madison with our presence for the occasion; aka Friday.

One summer, Lewis got a job as a bank teller. No joke. And no, he’s not Asian, but he was a best friend to a little Asian teller named Dolores. She would always yell at him when he started to cry because his tiny brain would get jammed up taking in all that money. “Why you cry? Why you crying?” she would ask…and he would just sob harder. Being a bank teller is apparently very tough. Good thing I never gave it a shot, since we all know I can barely count. People would have deposited their money into my pocket and I would have put purple confetti paper in their accounts instead….so….yea….

 Lewis’s first week at said bank we decided to grace FAC- aptly renamed FAB (Friday After Bank) with our presence as we normally did. On our way home Lewis just kept saying over and over how he couldn’t be late to work or Dolores would be so berry, berry mad. I made sure to set at least four alarms that night (two of them in my mind) and double check them, which is hard to do after you’ve knocked back a few brewskies. ß I am such a dude.

At around 8:30am I wake up to find Lewis still sleeping. It took me quick second to comprehend that he was supposed to have been at work 30 minutes ago and that he was going to be actually was berry late. What happened next is still disputed to this day…I LITERALLY woke up two seconds before Lewis did, and was looking at him when he opened his eyes. I calmly said “Lewis, don’t freak out. But you’re late for work” and of course he FREAKED out and busted ass out of my apartment for home. Later that day he called to ask me if I had been awake for hours just watching him sleep and making sure he missed all the alarms we had set (duh, of course that’s what I did). Apparently, I was so calm about the situation that it seemed like I had been awake since 4am watching him sleep like a creepy peeping Tom.

After that F.A.B incident we decided that we could no longer have Lewis work on Saturday mornings. What? Did you think I was going to say we deduced we couldn’t go out on Friday nights? Get real. Lewis told Dolores that he was unable to work Saturday mornings due to soccer practice! What a joke. I can’t believe she bought it, but she was apparently berry happy he was involved in athletics. Lewis was out of working Saturdays and FAB/FAC was back on track J

Moral of the story-  If I don’t care about my own employment, do you think I really give a sh*t about yours? xo