BIRSDAY DAY!

Today- October 6^th- is my birthday. Stop your applause- I’m not happy. I am not making jokes today because I made a joke a few days ago about Steve Jobs and possibly sending me a new Macbook…now he’s deceased (RIP Mr. Jobs, and thank you for the iPhone). I don’t even know my own power and I’m pretty positive I will just cause more harm with my “jokes” if I continue.

Another downer is that this is the year I’m supposed to be involved in a boating accident. This news was delivered to me via a little Thai fortuneteller, and so far he’s been right about everything else…so starting today- I’m scared and won’t be near any marinas any time soon. I personally think it’s going to be some crazy ‘Final Destination’ sh*t where I’m in the middle of a cornfield and a truck pulling a boat drives by me. Said boat comes detached from its hitch (<- yea I grew up on a farm, what of it?!) and crashes into my car, ipso facto I’m decapitated. There you have it….no joke. Remember? No joking today.

OR…everything was lost in translation and I’m supposed to buy a boat. The man didn’t speak English very well so it’s hard to know exactly what he meant. I do know there was, and is, a boat involved and it was in my 27^th year of life. That’s this one. But could he know that I would be unemployed at this point in my life? And if so, why didn’t that little Thai b*tch tell me, give me a heads up, even? How can I buy a boat without a j.o.b? Maybe put it on a credit card? Maybe it’ll be a birthday gift?

I’m old, unemployed and can’t tell jokes for fear of becoming the grim reaper. Whadda day.

<-------AAGGHHH!

PS- I'm having a great day, am not in a bad mood and would like to thank everyone for the birthday wishes! <3 you all!